Just A Bit Of A Breakdown

Today was a long day. The thing is though, that it wasn't a long day as in I had a ton of stuff to do and I had to cram it all into one day. It was just one of those days when everything hits you all at once.

It started when I got a text from my mom telling me to call her so I did. It turns out that the really nice wedding present they were going to give me wasn't exactly going to work out. See, they were originally going to pay off my car so that I wouldn't have to worry about it anymore. They were going to take over the last 6 months of payments. Well, turns out what we thought were going to be the last 6 payments are not even close to the last ones. We thought I was going to get it paid off in April. Well, the final payment will be in April. Just April of 2015.

That was a huge blow. I was so excited to be done making payments and I was so ready to just be able to enjoy a payment free life. I'd been counting down the months for the past year or so thinking how many more payments I had left. And then to have my parents take over what we thought were the last 6 was such a relief. I don't make much at my job and it was going to be so nice to have extra money laying around for once. But no. I will now be taking the payments back over after April 2013. Another 2 whole years of payments. Which if my timeline goes the way I'd like it to the last payment will be about a month or so before our first child is born.

Then I started thinking about the wedding I have to plan. My parents offered us $3,000 to help out with the wedding and when we found out about my car they said that we could either keep the $3,000 for the wedding or they could put at least that on my car. As nice as that would be and as much help as that would be to me it would benefit us more to use it on the wedding since I don't think that we could save up as much on our own along with what we're going to have to pay ourselves anyway.

So then I started stressing about how $3,000 probably wouldn't even be enough to pay for the freaking venue. I don't know how much his mom and his step-dad are going to contribute and I don't know if his dad and his step-mom are helping at all. And I have no idea how much we'll be able to throw in if any. So I have to start trying to plan a wedding with an unknown budget. I have to find a venue that can hold at least 250 people and that is relatively budget conscious. I have to figure out how much everything else is going to cost, too. Plus I'm the one that will be making almost all of the decisions because my husband will be gone from January to July on a deployment and he really doesn't care too much about all of the little details. So I get to shoulder all the stress and responsibility of making all of the little, tiny decisions that make the whole wedding work.

It would be so nice if the world didn't need money. I'm so sick of worrying about it. It feels like that's all we do these days. Everything in our lives revolves around how much money we have and how much things cost. I wish I could just forget about all of this stuff and just enjoy my life and be happy for a little while without worrying and counting dollars and cents.

It also hit me today that my husband is going to be gone for 6 months soon. He's in training right now and these 3 weeks have been way plenty of time away from him and once he gets back from training I'll have less than a month with him before he leaves for 6 months. I hate not being around him and this little preview of what it'll be like with him gone has sucked enough. I'm sure I'll settle into not having him around after a month or two. And it's not like I'll be by myself anyway. I'll be living with my parents so it won't be so bad.

Anyway, I hope everyone else's day was better than mine.

DBF Makes The Transition To DH

DBF is finally DH! We got engaged on October 26 and we got married October 31! We're finally married! It feels so good.

He was so cute about his proposal and it was a total surprise. He was so sneaky! He even asked my parents for their blessing before asking me to marry him. He really is my knight in shining armor. I can't imagine a better husband and partner in life.

The only problem with this day is my stupid co-worker "not being able to find a babysitter" which really just means that she didn't want to come in. She would rather spend her night with the married man she's seeing. She won't be getting any favors from me for a long, long time. She can't give me the first night of my marriage to spend with my husband. I won't be giving up the nights that I get to spend with DH before he leaves for anything. She'll just have to find someone else to work for her.

But other than that it has been such a wonderful day. Our families got along well at dinner, even his mom and his dad. Some times they have a bit of trouble being in the same room but they were civil. It

It's Been A While

I've been so busy. And also lazy. DH has gone to training but he'll be back in a little over a week but all the preparation for training took up tons of time. Plus getting me all registered in various military data bases and health care systems. And on top of that I've been working what seems like 24/7. Really it's only 5 nights a week but my shift takes up 6 days so I only have one day that's truly free and it's really getting to me.

I don't really have much to write about but I know I've been neglecting my blog lately and I really shouldn't do that. It was intended for a purpose. It was intended for an outlet for me but also as practice to get myself writing on a more regular basis. I need the practice and to learn the discipline of making myself write at least something. Obviously I need a lot more practice. But when DH leaves again I may have a little bit more to say.